Prenatal

Anywhere.

I got mobile access. Hah!

I’m here bitches.

I was trying to sleep.

Why do you people keep poking and prodding? I am not your trained monkey. Go get a dog.

Which reminds me… Can i get a puppy?

Erm…

So i guess that wasn’t my umbillical cord after all.

I wonder it does?

What was that?

Wierd. But i just had the strangest feeling. It was like I was being observed. Like I was being bugged. Prolly just my imagination. Or the DHS. Either one.

Complaints (first in a series).

Dad…

I like that you play music for me while in the car and all, but perhaps you can choose music recorded AFTER 1990.  Other than Stew. For once. It is impeding my development.

Thank you for your attention.

Your spawn.

Gender roles.

In English, the generic is usually masculine. Don’t read anything more into it than that.

And either way, that is my umbilical cord.

Apologies.

Yeah, I will admit it. The no-drinking-during-gestation thing does sort of suck.

But look at it this way. Your tolerance will be so much lower when I drive you to drink later in life. More ways i am saving you precious time and money.

You’re welcome.

Flipper.